Horse-Driven Car

U.K Patent No. 1,405,575 (.pdf)

In response to the energy crisis of the '70's, Mr. Arthur Pedrick invented a device for "Propelling Automobiles Without Using Petrol, or Gasolene". Looking past the very artfully "scientific" title, this patent looks a bit more like a way to "put the cart before the horse", as they say (and, in fact, as Mr. Pedrick jokes later in the paper). After lamenting about how the "complete solution" to the energy crisis - therm0-nuclear hydrogen fusion power plants running off sea-water - are too far off to solve immediate problems, Pedrick describes a way to get a horse to push a car. As you can see in the artful diagram, there's a cart full of feed (2) in front of the horse (4), just barely beyond its mouth. Using hydraulics, the driver can control how close to the feed cart the horse can get and thereby control the speed at which the horse pushes. There's also mention of connecting the car's starter to an electrode placed on the horse's ass: think of it as spurs to get a little more juice. Plus, Pedrick mentions that you could put speakers next to the horse's ears, and use them to say "Gee-Up" or put on music such as "The Teddy bear's Picnic" with a fast tempo for the horse to march to. And of course, there's a water-proof cover to keep your horse dry.

Honda, forget about the hybrid. THIS is the solution to oil dependency!

Ladder for Trapped Spiders

UK Patent No. 2,272,154 (.pdf)

Here's a short patent from the UK that fits very nicely into the "wow, how, er, unique?" section. Spiders, you see, get stuck in tubs. They have trouble crawling out because there isn't much for them to hold onto. Solution? Make a tiny rubber ladder for them to use! Say goodbye to that guilty feeling of washing your eight-legged friends down the drain when you go to take a shower in the morning. It really is quite inventive... I'd buy one. Somehow, I doubt that anyone will ever make these, though.

Cheese Cigarette Filter

U.S. Patent No. 3,234,948 (.pdf)

The title of this patent seems to imply that the cigarettes in question are made specifically for smokers of the Wisconsin variety, but there actually is more method to the madness described than just taste and smell. Stebbings goes into excruciating detail about what cheeses are suitable - Parmesan, Romano or Swiss - what grating mesh size for both the cheeses and the charcoal used, and even what percentage of butter fat in the cheese is ideal. Read through all of that and the description of the oh-so complex drawing, and you'll eventually come across a paragraph that enumerates the real reason for using cheese in a cigarette filter: by using Parmesan "it has been found possible to remove 61 to 89 percent of the tars", whereas "sixty-one percent is equivalent to the best commercial filter presently available".

Evidently, cheese is useful for more than just flavor and stench.