Flaming Trumpet

U.S. Patent No. 4,247,283 (.pdf)

Pyrotechnics are awesome when incorporated into a rock concert, as anyone who has been to a Kiss show can happily assert. Unfortunately they lack something: location. It's nice when they're shooting off behind the stage, or in front of the stage, but how about having them actually on the stage, in the middle of the band? Thanks to this wonderful invention, the necessary technology is finally here! It is, essentially, a gas cartridge rigged to emit from inside the bell of a trumpet (although it would work perfectly fine on any other instrument, for that matter) with a valve connected to control the gas emission, and a spark to light said gas on fire. Hit the final chord of a song, press the valve and presto! Instant flame thrower! Jazz just got hotter than ever before! Just make sure that the bell isn't pointed toward your stand; the chart for the next number (and probably the entire stand, too!) will turn into a pile of ash before you resolve the chord.